Let’s be real, life is hard for a uni student. No, we’re not seeking attention or pity, nor are we overreacting. We pay for textbooks that cost more than what’s in our bank account and we depend on free food handouts because we can’t afford an overpriced $10 grilled ham and cheese sandwich from the uni cafe.

Here’s to all those uni students out there who are still holding on (barely); let’s mourn for our #unitlyfe together. After all, misery does love company. Enjoy this list of 45 terrible truths only true uni students will understand.

 

  1. Your student ID will forever be as lost as your motivation to do your assignments.
  2. Exam time is the perfect time for your favourite tv show re-runs.
  3. If attendance isn’t compulsory, you have no classes.
  4. Student experience surveys are only doable if there is a monetary prize incentive.
  5. If it’s raining, uni is cancelled. 
  6. The day you forget to bring your public transport concession card is always the day public transport officers are on the prowl.
  7. If lectures are recorded you can sleep in without feeling guilty.
  8. Telling yourself you’ll catch up on the recorded lecture you missed, but who are you kidding? You never catch up the recorded lectures.
  9. For every lecture note you print 1 tree dies in this world.
  10. Uni is also the perfect excuse to wear gym clothes even though you don’t even have a gym membership and you haven’t exercised in 5 years.
  11. Scrolling through Facebook about lecture memes during your lecture is always productive.
  12. Only 1 hour into your first day back at uni and you’re already behind on 15 assignments.
  13. Coffee is the only thing that will get you through 8am lectures.
  14. Here are 6 things that must be boycotted:
    • 8am lectures
    • hurdle requirement tasks
    • group assignment work
    • waiting 2 hours for a car park
    • paying for overpriced textbooks
    • paying $5 for a slice of banana bread from the uni cafe
  15. Ironically the library is the most over-crowded and unreliable place to study.
  16. The overwhelming relief when you close down 100 tabs after that research essay.
  17. Referencing in Oxford, Harvard, Chicago, APA and MLA can also lead to symptoms of CBF, WTF, SMH, FML and IDC.
  18. People who ask questions during the lecture are questionable themselves.
  19. If it’s not due tomorrow, prolonged procrastination is acceptable up until the night before it is.
  20. Relying on the “self-control” app to help you with your complete lack of self control.
  21. The library serves 4 functions for students: printing, researching, studying and sleeping.
  22. If you’ve already missed the first 10 minutes of your lecture or class, you may as well stay in bed.
  23. Buying second hand textbooks on eBay, Gumtree and StudentVIP is a very rewarding experience.
  24. Student discounts and free food are greatly appreciated all day, everyday.
  25. It’s exam week and you only decide that it might be a good time to read the required weekly readings
  26. This is a Public Service Announcement to declare that you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing with your life and you’re about to enter into an existential crisis.
  27. You know you’re officially done with uni when the late hand in penalty doesn’t even phase you anymore.
  28. Let’s be honest, the quality of your student experience would be 120% less stressful without referencing.
  29. You’re basically paying money to not go to class, and even if you do you’ll still be drowning in debt.
  30. Catching up on your sleep in your lecture because attendance is worth 15% of your grade.
  31. University is basically soup, and you are a fork.
  32. A 1 hour class is asking a lot from you.
  33. There’s always that one person you always sit next to in lectures but don’t know the name of.
  34. Apple, Nike, Adidas, Herschel Supply Co. and Fjallraven Kanken should sponsor every uni student ever.
  35. Uni can be summed up as not sleeping to catch up on work, taking naps because you didn’t sleep, and then falling behind on work because you took those naps. And thus the cycle repeats.
  36. Your 2 hour study breaks between classes are spent napping or eating.
  37. If you wake up at 4pm, you need an intervention.
  38. Trying to learn a semester’s worth of work one week before the exam is always regrettable, but inevitable.
  39. You’re in 3rd year and you still don’t know your way around the library.
  40. The only motivation you have to get through a whole day of uni is thinking about the nap you’ll have when you get home.
  41. If other people have taken your special spot in the private study area, your entire day is ruined.
  42. Netflix will always be there for you.
  43. Getting your friend to tick your name off in class when you don’t go (but also feeling low-key guilty because you told them you’d be in class).
  44. Finishing your bachelor degree takes about as long as finding a car park.
  45. The only two words you ever want to hear at uni is “cancelled” and “free”.

 

So how do you feel after reading this? Did you laugh and then perpetually cry? If you did, then you are a true uni student. Uni may have its downs, but it certainly does have its ups (like having student discounts for ASOS and when they hand out free food). Stay strong, believe in yourself, and remember to never ever buy a new textbook if you can find it second hand online. Good luck with your studies!